What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?
07.06.2025 12:18
But please Hollywood, just make something better with my county.
Heh….that would be a movie that I'm 98% sure none of you have ever heard of; Summer Heat.
So here's the deal. One day in elementary school many years ago, my music teacher was giving us some history of our town. I don't quite remember the prompt that started this discussion, all I really remember is him mentioning a very cool fact that took me by surprise; a movie was filmed in our town!!!
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The scene, however brief, was just so cool to see, because I knew the location. I recognized the church, the field behind it, and the trees. Kathy Bates herself was standing at a place I pass by regularly driving to work. Anthony Edwards (goose from top gun) was in my county. That is just so amazing to think about.
Summer Heat gets a summary.
And honestly, the way it was filmed felt like an amateur highschool project that just happened to score a couple big names. I hate to crap on someone else's work, I really do, but it's just not good. It's really not hard to believe you never heard of this movie, it's just that unmentionable. So unmentionable, that Wikipedia only has a plot summary instead of the usual synopsis other movies have on there. To demonstrate how bad that sounds, the abomination known as Freddy Got Fingered has a full detailed synopsis…
How do you know when your skirt is too short?
And I'm thinking “Oh my gosh, how have I never heard about this? That is so cool!!!” Fast forward a decade later and the mention of that movie comes back to my memory. So I look it up, and found it on Blu-ray at Amazon. Before watching, I mentioned I bought the movie to my mom, and she told me that a scene was actually filmed at a church on a hill a mile away from my house. She recalled actually seeing the production when she was little.
Imagine if you will, a full 80 min porno. Not the average one, but the kind that tries to weave in a full plot with characters, conflicts, but still has bland acting used as a means to move the story forward just to show more sex. That's practically what this movie was; a porno. It was dull, boring, and I felt cheated out of my time on earth. I don't even really like a lot of sex in movies personally. My problem with it is all to often it's portrayed very unnaturally and so unrealistically to the point I just get tired of seeing it. But that's all you get here. 20% Boring story, 80% gratuitous sex.
However irredeemable it is, I still enjoyed the experience just watching something with my county's scenery in it.
So I watched, and immediately an opening narration mentions my hometown, Tarboro, by name, and I just got so excited reiterating to myself “I'm watching a movie made in my hometown!” Well even that piece of astonishing information couldn't possibly have made me enjoy this movie; we deserved better. It's been a year, I've only seen it once, don't think I will again. My memory isn't so fresh about what I saw, but I barely remembered anything about it when it was over anyway.